Joe dirt why is a tree good

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It's not what you like. It's the consumer. You see that moon? You don't know how many nights I spent alone staring at that moon wondering if at that exact moment, my mom or my dad was looking at the same moon.

And for that brief second, we were together again, kind of, you know? Do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Ma'am, you should never drink the bong water.

Life's a garden, dig it? I like to kid around. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers? Why is the sunset good?

Why are boobs good? How long did you look for me before you gave up? Exactly how long? I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say? Come on. My face and your ass! They just got their own issues and what not. The thing with the dog is coming off a little fruity. You know the Night Stalker, remember him?

So what do you say. I got a backup mic right here. Yup, they both working and guess what? Now, let's see if Rocky's got some cavities. Joe Dirt : [Rocky throws Joe out of his mouth as crowd laughs and cheers] Oh, when bad pets go bad, dang.

Joe Dirt : [Babbling nonsensically] It's like the cartoons, I'm seein' all "tweet tweet". Charlene the Gator Farmer : Joe, what can I do fa you? Ya not makin' any sense. Joe Dirt : Not makin'?

Not makin'? Joe Dirt : Nunamaker! That's what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name's Dirt, her last name's Nunamaker! That's my parents' last name! Joe Dirt : [Facing mirror] She's your sister dude she's gotta be and you made out with her man! What's wrong with you, you pervert!

Joe Dirt : Well I didn't know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it's not my fault. And she's one of the hottest girls on the planet.

Joe Dirt : You just said your sister's hot! What a fuhreak! You're goin' to hell man! Joe Dirt : I gotta tell her what happened, why I got weird. And for god sakes, I gotta treat her like a sister. Joe Dirt : And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up.

I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown. Joe Dirt : Comin' to work. Joe Deertay. Don't you mean Joe Dirt? Naming you that your father must've really hated you. Joe Dirt : You're wrong brother. Joe Dirt : Shit'll buff out. Do us all a favor. Joe Dirt : Does this look like a piece of crap to you?

Like them spinnin' tires do you? Joe Dirt : You do! Joe Dirt : This croc ain't no puppy. Joe Dirt : Now, this ain't no flapjack, so I'm gonna be real careful, I won't look.

Joe Dirt : Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where's the good stuff man? Kicking Wing : Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers. Joe Dirt : Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Kicking Wing : Why is that good?

Joe Dirt : Well, huh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs asses.

Joe Dirt : [talking to Buffalo Bob] Hey to tell you the truth brother, between you and me, that thing with the dog is comin' off a little fruit-y. I mean that's just me talkin'. Hey, where's my supplies? Buffalo Bob : [frustrated] Oh, for Christ's sake! Buffalo Bob : Here! Joe Dirt : [squeal of delight] Wee, Auto Trader. Ooh August, I don't got this one. Joe Dirt : Life's a garden, dig it. Charlene the Gator Farmer : You really think you can match that slant 6 of yours against this hemi? Well then let's do it little boy!

Clem : That's my girl! Robby : Let's rock, Dirt-boy! Joe Dirt : Let's go! Robby : [Joe speeds off, leaving Robby in his dust] Damn. Joe Dirt : [after finally finding his parents] I - I - I don't mean to interrupt your clown pitch there, but - but how exactly do you not go right back to the place where you saw me? Joe's Dad : [sarcastically] Hey! How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does a sun set? How exactly does a posi-trac rear-end on a Plymouth work? It just does. Joe's Mom : It just does.

Joe Dirt : [sternly] I'm not talking about a posi-trac; I'm talking about me. How long did you look for me before you gave up? How lone were you riding in that car before you realized I wasn't in it? Exactly how long? Joe's Dad : All right! We didn't lose him; we just left him.

So what? The dude's doing fine! Look at him! Joe's Mom : He look good. Joe Dirt : [tearfully] Why did you do that to me? I was only eight years old - I was just a little kid. Do you have any idea what it's like to be a kid and have nobody around to talk to? No one that cares if you're alive or dead? Every day you just think you're worthless and there's a void in your life? Joe's Mom : [chuckles] Oh, come on, honey.

Joe's Dad : Lighten up, buddy. Joe's Mom : [takes a clown figurine] Lose that frown. When you're down, stare at a clown. Joe's Dad : That's right, boy. Joe's Mom : [hits him] Hey, sit down! Sit down! You're blocking the cameras!